Reboot to the head
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: College is a time of changes and possibly changes in time. Ron Stoppable was enjoying his time at Greendale Community college when he awoke to a different world than he had gone to bed in.
1. Chapter 1

**Reboot to the head!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any major media property, all series are property of their respective studios.  
**

Ron awoke with a start, his head pounding. He stumbled into furniture he only half-remembered having as he made his way to the bathroom. The pounding had almost stopped by the time he'd gotten the cap off the aspirin, but he took two anyway and stuck his head under the faucet, letting the water run over his scalp. His head felt like it was two sizes too small, which was no surprise as he realized he had two complete sets of memories.

A brief spark of hope died as quickly as it appeared when he realized that despite some major changes to the world, his life had followed the same general path. He'd done poorly on tests, failed to get into the same college as his best friend and they'd slowly drifted apart. He'd done his best in both timelines, but it seemed some things just weren't meant to be. It was actually a relief in a way, because while he still felt down, he no longer felt the need to blame himself. People drift apart, plans don't work out and... some third thing he couldn't think of at the moment.

There were a couple of major changes however, like a number of their missions having different villains, different situations, the Justice League…

"Well… there goes my comic collection," he complained before realizing he still had a collection, though it was a bit eclectic as Marvel was a bit too dark and gritty for his tastes so he'd never collected it the way he did DC.

Thoughts of what he could do now that he was in the DC universe brought a grin to his face. He started running through various ways to gain super powers in his head, trying to figure out which would suit him best. Really the best way to actually test it would require-

 ***KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK***

Ron opened the door and was not really surprised to find Abed and Annie there.

"Sorry," Annie apologized, "but Abed was working in the imaginarium and he insisted we see you."

"Please tell me we haven't slipped into the darkest timeline!" Abed begged, upset.

"I'm surprised you noticed," Ron said, much to Annie's shock and Abed's horror. "Whoa! I mean, we shifted from two to… three, not jumped down to six."

"That's… a relief," Abed said with a sigh.

"How real is this?" Annie asked cautiously.

"Real enough that I'm going to need you to pick up my homework assignments for the next couple of days while I call in some favors from various League members," Ron said sincerely.

"Didn't you say you were out of the game?" Abed asked.

"With the timeline shift, it's a whole new ballgame," Ron replied.

"You'll be careful, right?" Annie asked anxiously.

"Probably," Ron said with a shrug. "Can't really guarantee anything, but I'll certainly try."

"What are you going to do?" Abed asked.

"I'm going to call in some favors and see if I can figure out what happened," Ron answered, semi-honestly. "Of course the fact that changing the timeline probably wiped out all trace of the event, means I probably won't find anything, but I plan on trying anyway."

"Why didn't it affect you?" Abed asked.

"It did," Ron replied, "but I also have something that doesn't like the idea of not existing, so it provided me with a backup of my memories."

"What was the other timeline like?" Abed asked. "Did it have shrimp? What were we like there?"

"It was a lot like this one except with the superpowers turned down to one," Ron replied. "Yes, there were shrimp and I have no idea because I went to a completely different college. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to change."

"I'll come by to check on you and drop off your assignments," Annie said, herding Abed out the door before he could ask any more questions.

"I'll try and be in," Ron said as he closed the door. "Bye."

Going to his closet he saw his old mission clothes hanging in the back next to his Fearless Ferret outfit. He grinned as he realized that in this universe he was the Fearless Ferret, even if it had been an infrequent event when there was a mission he didn't want connected to his name for safety's sake. In the end he simply dressed in his Dread Pirate Robert cosplay outfit, which fit him better than clothing he hadn't worn in a couple of years.

"I have gotten pudgy," he complained, before sorting through his Keys to find the one he wanted. It looked like a simple black Skeleton Key, if you didn't notice the way it absorbed light. He brought it up to the wall, the shadows forming a door that he cautiously opened, relieved that he was still on the approved list.

"Nice to see some things never change," Ron said as he stepped through the portal into Shadowcrest. Looking around the eighteenth century boarding school turned magical mansion, he remembered his one great annoyance with the place. "Where the hell am I?" he complained. Every time he entered Shadowcrest alone, he found himself in a new area, several of which Zatanna claimed did not exist. All he knew was that it was mildly annoying and he suspected it was payback for all the times he raided Zatanna's ice cream supply.

It took him a good ten minutes to find his way to the stairs and he knew he'd passed through several rooms at least twice. "This place has it in for me," he complained, as he reached the bottom floor and headed for the kitchen. Having been a boarding school, Shadowcrest naturally had a kitchen that required a dozen people to run, which is why Zatanna had remodeled the dry storage room into a smaller more intimate kitchen. It was that kitchen that Ron was currently raiding.

"One cold iron spoon," he said with a grin, as he took a specially made spoon out of his back pocket and used it to open the freezer, a bright blue spark crackling off the end of the spoon, making him laugh. "Success!" he cried on spotting a quart container of Rocky Road ice cream. He almost grabbed it before pausing and poking it with his spook, the flash of light from the ice cream blinded him for a moment, but he quickly recovered and claimed his prize. He was on his third bite when he suddenly dropped into the splits and a black clad foot swept through where his head had been. Throwing himself backwards, he avoided a follow up kick and got a clear view of who was attacking him.

"CIGAM DNIB YM EOF!" Zatanna intoned, causing bands of eldritch force to form around Ron, where they popped like soap bubbles as he dodged Batgirl's next attack.

Ron leapt onto the table, then to the top of the fridge where he sat like a gargoyle eating ice cream with a grin.

"Ron?!" Zatanna exclaimed in shock, causing Batgirl to pause. "Ron, did you just pop in after two years of not one word to steal my ice cream?"

"I sent postcards," Ron said with a frown." Come to think of it I also sent gifts and cookies during the holidays and never received a single thank you card."

"Where did you send them?" Zatanna asked.

"Here," he replied, waving his spoon around the room. "Don't you ever check the mail here?"

"We can get mail here?" Zatanna asked surprised.

"Please tell me you're joking," Ron said.

"I use a P. O. Box," Zatanna replied. "I'm not sure how a mailman would deliver to a mansion between the light and the dark."

"The front door has a little chute to the left of it that drops the mail in the mailroom," Ron said, shaking his head in disbelief, before dropping off the fridge with barely a thump.

"Before we get into that, how did you break my magic bands?" Zatanna demanded.

"I have my own mystical powers and you didn't exactly put a lot of strength into them, now did you?" Ron said before taking another bite of her ice cream.

"Since when have you had mystical powers?" Zatanna asked before saying, "Well, I didn't expect to be restraining someone with magic."

Batgirl tilted her head to the side and watched the two curiously, saying nothing.

"Gimme that!" Zatanna said, snatching her ice cream back from Ron.

"Since always," Ron replied, figuring that was about as accurate an answer as he could give when dealing with time itself shifting. "Anyway, let's go check the Mail Room."

"Fine," she agreed, "but how do I know you didn't plant any mail there, since you've been here for at least ten minutes?"

Ron lead the way to the front door. "Because if you haven't checked your mail in the entire time we've known each other, there should be a lot more mail than from just me." Turning to the right of the front door he examined the blank wall before tapping it in various places, looking for the hidden door.

"NEPO!" Zatanna intoned, causing a coat hook to fall forward and the secret door to open.

Ron stepped into the room, which held a large wooden table under a mail chute that was overflowing with mail that had scattered across the floor. The rows of empty pigeonholes lining the walls had faded yellow labels of students long gone.

"I can't believe you were right," Zatanna said in surprise. "I thought you were joking or playing a prank."

Batgirl poked through the massive pile of mail, making a three-foot-tall stack of phone books in just a few seconds.

"LLA LIAM EB DETROS OTNI DELLEBAL SELOHNOEGIP!" Zatanna intoned, causing a huge wind to sweep through the room, almost knocking them off their feet and leaving the mail properly sorted with thirty-seven pigeonholes labelled and filled with mail.

"See?" Ron said, pointing to three pigeonholes with his name, filled with letters and packages.

"This still doesn't explain how a postman actually got in here," Zatanna complained.

"By walking up to the door," Ron suggested.

Zatanna stormed over to the front door and threw it open revealing a thick wall of mist that blocked all sight after a few feet. "We're in a pocket dimension," she reminded him.

Ron thought about that for a minute and then began to laugh.

"What?" she asked.

"When did you first move into Shadowcrest?" he asked.

"When I was thirteen, you know that," Zatanna said.

"Yes, and if I recall, you were going through a boy crazy phase," Ron said.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Zatanna asked, blushing a little as she recalled how she acted at that age.

"Your father told you this place was in a pocket dimension, didn't he?" Ron asked with a grin.

"I've done spells that have confirmed that," she pointed out.

"Yes, but I bet they were all done inside the house, weren't they?" Ron questioned, trying not to laugh.

Zatanna stepped out to the porch and quietly cast a spell, stepping inside a couple of seconds later, looking annoyed. "And the fog?" she asked.

"It's normal fog," he answered her with a grin.

Batgirl gave Zatanna a look and she sighed and explained, "Using the Keys to come and go, pings the wards, so I couldn't sneak out and he died before he could tell me otherwise."

"So, about that favor?" Ron asked.

"Sure," Zatanna agreed. "Despite always stealing my ice cream, you haven't been a neglectful friend and I do owe you one."

"Great," Ron said as she snapped her fingers and summoned a spoon. "I need to locate a mystical artifact."

"WOHS EM EHT STCAFITRA DETCENNOC OT YM DNEIRF!" Zatanna intoned, waving her spoon like a wand. Her eyes glowed brightly for a moment. "It's in Japan."

"Not that one," Ron said. "I know where that one is. No, I'm looking for a dial whose buttons are in a futuristic language that grants temporary powers to the one who uses it."

"That should be exact enough to get a general feel for its location, provided it isn't warded as mystical items often are," Zatanna said. "LAID FO REWOP, YLLAROPMET DETIMIL, YLLARUTLUC DECNAVDA, LAEVER RUOY NOITACOL!"

An image of a black and green wristwatch buried beneath several feet of sand appeared and vanished a moment later.

"Was that the one?" Zatanna asked a white faced Ron.

"No, but it'll do," he said, wondering how many universes had been jammed together and what had happened to prevent Ben Tennyson from claiming the Omnitrix.

"Are you okay?" Zatanna asked concerned.

Ron sighed. "I will be, I just have a lot on my plate right now. Did you sense any other Dials or just that one?" he asked.

"Just that one," Zatanna replied. "Any others are warded."

"Not surprising," he said, as he thought about the history of the Dials that originated in DC comics. "Can you collect that one and make sure no one puts it on? It'll bond itself to the first one who wears it."

"Sure, but what will you be doing?" she asked.

"I gotta go call in another favor and see if I can locate another dial through scientific means and locate the guy who was destined to wield that first dial," he explained.

"How did you get involved in all of this?" Zatanna asked. It'd been years since she'd seen him and she was curious.

"I'm partially protected from whatever changed the bearer of the Omnitrix's destiny," Ron said. "I have no reason to suspect anyone intentionally screwed him over, in fact I'm positive the change is unrelated to him, but I can't just stand by and let him get screwed over."

"Are you saying someone has messed with the timeline?" Zatanna asked concerned.

"I can name several time travelers off the top of my head, one is even a League member, and I'm not talking about the various times League members have time traveled and altered things, I mean he's from centuries in the future and his every action is altering the future he came from," Ron said.

"You've got to be kidding me," Zatanna said looking horrified.

Ron shook his head and stole another spoonful of ice cream while she was distracted. "Time is a river, it's not static, and we happen to live in the rapids. Fortunately, it's also self-correcting to a degree, so try not to stress about it."

"Do you have to fix things a lot?" Zatanna asked, a sudden suspicion of Ron being a universal handyman entering her mind.

Ron waved his spoon. "You got the wrong idea, I'm not a Timelord. This change happened to be something I had some protection against. Other changes have other people knowing about them."

"Oh," Zatanna said. "This is confusing and concerning."

"Time travel in a nutshell," Ron said with a shrug. "Well, I gotta motor. Know a quick way to get up to the Watchtower?"

"How do you-" Zatanna sighed and flicked her wrist, producing a playing card with a number written on it. "Call up the monitor room and convince them you have a good enough reason for them to teleport you up there."

"Cool, I'll be by later to pick up the Dial and I'll try and visit more in the future. Ciao!" he said, walking out the front door and vanishing into the fog.

Zatanna shut the front door while Batgirl took off her cowl and shook out her mane of red hair. "Wanna help me sort half a decade of mail?" Zatanna said hopefully.

"Sure," Kim replied. "I'm not on patrol for another two hours."

"So, any reason you didn't speak up while Ron was here?" Zatanna asked.

"Because we haven't talked in forever and it'd be really awkward," Kim admitted. "Plus… secret identity."

"Provided he doesn't already know it and wasn't just humoring you," Zatanna teased. "Who knows what all happened in the alternate timeline he remembers."

"He could have been dating you before the time change," Kim pointed out with a grin. "Maybe that's why he was so comfortable coming in here and stealing your ice cream."

"What?" Zatanna asked, never having considered that.

"Maybe he's planning on hanging around some more because he already knows all the right spells to get into your stockings," she teased.

"Or because he knows what buttons to push to get access to your Batcave," Zatanna fired back with a grin.

Kim stuck out her tongue and stole a quick spoonful of ice cream while Zatanna was laughing.

"Where'd you get that spoon?" Zatanna asked, knowing Kim hadn't been near the silverware drawer in the kitchen.

"Utility belt," Kim said with a grin.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Hey, Flash," Ron said cheerfully, into the phone. "This is the Ron man. I need to call in that favor you owe me."

 **Typed by – Sitheus Maximus / Ipsith**

 **TN: Sorry about the delay people, fucked up my hand and didn't really listen to the doc's orders to let it get better first.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Flash!" Ron said cheerfully as he materialized on the watchtower.

"Ferret?" The Flash asked, looking him over.

"I gained some weight in college, so I had to improvise a costume," Ron admitted.

"Dread Pirate Roberts?" The Flash guessed with a grin, having liked that movie.

"Bingo," Ron agreed.

"So what was the favor you needed?" The Flash asked.

"I've got a number of things I gotta check up on," Ron replied. "Something screwed with destiny and I've already discovered one person that I gotta put back on track, but first I have to find him. Not to mention seeing if any of the others have also gone walkabout."

"I'm going to pretend I understood that," The Flash decided. "So what can I do to help?"

"Is The Question available?" Ron asked, thinking of the eccentric detective.

"Never heard of him," The Flash admitted, making Ron sigh.

"Okay two people to look for and set right," Ron grumbled. "Got an open terminal I can run some searches on?"

"Not at the moment," Batman said as he stalked into the monitor room. "We're dealing with a situation that required all available computer resources and even if that wasn't occurring, you aren't authorized to use League Resources. Before I'd allow you access, you'd have to be a League member and there aren't any openings at this time."

"Plan C it is then," Ron said. "Can you 'Port me down to Wayne Manor?" Ron asked The Flash.

Batman stiffened, but it was so brief that only the The Flash caught it.

"What's at Wayne Manor?" The Flash asked, trying and failing to sound casual.

"Alfred Pennyworth, who is looking for the secret to Martha Wayne's Peanut Butter and Banana Cookies," Ron explained. "Or at least he should be."

"And you know the secret?" The Flash guessed.

"I know the secret," Ron agreed as he recalled a Christmas one shot on Alfred he'd read in another life.

"And how will that allow you access to our files?" Batman asked, his tone giving away nothing.

"Alfred's looking for the secret for Bruce Wayne, the heir to Wayne Industries who finances the League," Ron pointed out. "Plus, I'm trying to track down and assist two orphans. Getting Wayne to help me is a shoe in. He may be a bit of a party boy, but as far as I know he's not a heartless dick."

"You've got a point there," The Flash agreed, trying not to laugh.

"Besides I don't need League resources specifically, everything I want should be a matter of public record," Ron replied with a shrug. "I was going to use the League computers because they were faster, not because they held anything special."

"To the Manor it is then," The Flash said cheerfully, as Batman gave him a covert signal and he teleported Ron down. "I was almost sure he knew," The Flash said with a laugh.

"He probably does," Batman replied. "In fact I'd bet on it; his tone of voice and body language say he knows."

"And the reason you look so laid back about it?" The Flash asked, surprised. "I mean shouldn't you be figuring out a way to convince him he's wrong?"

"When I investigated Batgirl, I also did a thorough job investigating her close friends and family," Batman explained. "Ferret isn't a threat."

The Flash regarded Batman for a moment, his mind flying through various trains of thought at the speed of light. "By having him use Wayne resources you also get to track what he's doing," he said as he figured out Batman's angle.

"And I get to share my Mother's cookies with my family," Batman admitted, his eyes looking into the past.

Knowing how rare it was for Batman to share anything of a personal nature, The Flash wisely kept silent…. for a whole two seconds. "You'll share with me, right?"

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"But seriously, who knows what the other timeline was like?" Kim said as she dug into her ice cream, Zatanna having gotten Kim a bowl so her own would be safe from Kim's raiding.

"We could peek," Zatanna suggested thoughtfully.

"Seriously?" Kim asked. "You actually have a spell for that?"

"Of course not," Zatanna said, shaking her head. "We have a scrying pool and he left traces of his mystical aura all over the kitchen," Zatanna explained, waving her hand towards the fridge.

"An aura from a magical artifact that he's connected to in Japan?" Kim asked. "How does that help?"

"He claims he was always connected to it, but this is the first time we've seen him use those powers, so I'm pretty sure he connected to it in the other timeline," Zatanna explained. "Thus it provides a link I can use so we can catch a glimpse of the timeline it originated in."

"That's so far beyond me, you could just say Care Bear Stare Power and I'd believe it," Kim admitted.

Zatanna laughed. "You just grab a piece of crystal and move it through where he used that mystical aura of his and it'll hoover it up," Zatanna replied, walking to the kitchen and retrieving a shot glass.

"I thought you'd need something special," Kim said.

"Glass is a form of crystal," Zatanna replied. " **LACITSYM ARUA EMOCEB ELBISIV**!" she intoned, causing bright blue trails of light to become visible in front of the fridge.

"He really sprayed it around," Kim noted as Zatanna waved the glass through the trails, the shot glass sucking in the leftover energy.

"Yes, but which one of us caused such an energetic reaction?" Zatanna teased as she soaked up the last of the energy, making the glass look like it was on fire as blue flames danced across the surface.

"You're the one who immediately tried to see if he was into bondage," Kim sang before giggling.

"This from the woman dressed in a full body latex outfit?" Zatanna fired back.

The pair lost it and laughed till tears came to their eyes.

"Come on," Zatanna said, "let's see what we can see."

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"I can't believe I missed that," Alfred said, shaking his head as he pulled a tray full of cookies out of the oven, inhaling the aroma and smiling.

"Most people are unaware that the bananas they are eating are not the ones their grandparents ate," Ron replied. "Adding banana extract to the recipe will help, but to truly recreate the cookies you'll need to import Gros-Michel bananas rather than the Cavendish variety you get in the store these days."

Alfred nodded. "Importing bananas is not a problem," he said happily. "Now you said you just wanted the use of the Wayne Family Security Service to do some research for you?"

"Well, I'm assuming you either have a detective on your payroll or can get one," Ron admitted. "I am trying to locate one hand-sized piece of jewelry and two missing kids."

"How long have they been missing? Have you notified the police?" Alfred asked.

"No idea and no," Ron replied. "It's a complicated story, but an artifact was supposed to be discovered by one of the kids and it's been laying untouched for years. It's possible the kids don't even exist, but I have to be sure. For all I know they are safe at home and their parents never vanished, but considering their age, I need to know as soon as possible."

"Sensible," Alfred agreed not asking any of a dozen questions that sprang to mind as he figured out precisely what to ask. "May I ask how you know of people who may not exist?"

"I've got a slight bit of protection from changes to the timeline, not much, but just enough to retain my memories," Ron explained.

"And you were a hero?" Alfred asked.

"I was a chef," Ron replied. "But even a chef has friends."

"Oh," Alfred said, a bit surprised, before smiling. "So most of what you know is about your friends I presume."

"And friends of friends," Ron said. "A few are even things I know of by rumor, but since I'm the only one who knows, I feel obligated to at least check on things."

"That is quite the task," Alfred said.

"Maybe," Ron admitted with a shrug, "but someone has to do it."

"Well, if you'll give me the names and a description of the item in question, I'll have out house … detective look into the matter," Alfred said, hiding his amusement.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"This is all of it?" Batgirl asked as she carefully placed a metallic ring into the box with a gloved hand.

" **SECEIP TCELLOC NI EHT XOB**!" Zatanna intoned as she waved her hand. A second later two small pins flew into the box. "That should be everything," she said. " **RIAPER**!" she intoned, causing the pieces to shake, but nothing else occurred.

"Didn't work?" Batgirl asked.

"I don't have a clear enough picture of what it would look like repaired," Zatanna explained. "Magic only goes so far without knowledge to back it up."

"That's almost poetic," Batgirl said, closing the box. "We done here?"

" **ETIROETEM STNEMGARF EMOC OT YM DNAH**!" Zatanna intoned, collecting a handful of what seemed like small rocks that she dumped into a small pouch. "Done," Zatanna agreed, before opening a Door to the mansion. "And the viewing pool should be ready too."

"Good, the curiosity is killing me," Batgirl said, entering Shadowcrest and setting the box on the kitchen table.

"Right this way then," Zatanna said, leading her upstairs.

They climbed five flights of stairs and walked through two hallways that Batgirl would have sworn were the same one except for their placement, before reaching a solarium with a pool of mercury five feet wide, ringed with white stones, that were engraved with softly glowing runes. "J. K. Rowling based Hogwarts on this place, didn't she?"

Zatanna laughed. "No, but there are similarities." She retrieved the shot glass from a side table and set it on the rim of the pool, the glow of Ron's aura draining from the shot glass and coloring the runes blue, as images began to flicker in the mercury. " **WOHS SU S'NOR EFIL EROFEB SIHT ENO**!" Zatanna intoned softly.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"I have the preliminary reports," Alfred told Ron as Ron experimented with a different recipe. Being rich, Martha didn't do much of her own cooking, but she'd amassed an impressive collection of recipe books for her staff to use, including those with dishes from around the world, some of which were no longer possible to prepare as one or two of the ingredients had gone extinct.

"May I?" Alfred asked as he looked over a pot of soup Ron had on the stove.

"Go right ahead," Ron said, accepting the folder from Alfred and sitting at the table.

"This is quite good," Alfred complimented him. "I was unaware we had any rabbit on hand."

"It's chicken with fish stock added," Ron replied absently. "It's a good substitute for rabbit in case someone is allergic."

"A very good substitute," Alfred agreed, trying another spoonful to see if he could tell the difference now that he know it wasn't rabbit. "Something the matter?" he asked Ron, seeing the younger man was upset.

"The dial was easy enough to find, though completely non-functional, which I expected, but the two kids I'm looking for…." Ron said, his voice trailing off at the end.

"Bad?" Alfred guessed.

"Very," Ron agreed. "Ben and Gwen Tennyson were supposed to be taken on a road trip by their Grandfather Max when they were ten, but according to this, their Grandfather was caught in one of the Joker's little parties and died. The two were turned over to Gotham's Children's Protection Services when their families were unable to be located. They were shuffled around the system and somehow Ben was killed in a fire that is still under investigation, while Gwen is now listed as 17 despite the fact that earlier records show she is really 15 and at Lady Tristan's Finishing School for Young Women, having been there for a year."

"Lady Tristan's?" Alfred asked, looking concerned.

"Let me guess, more bad news?" Ron sighed.

"Lady Tristan's takes young woman and turns out high class escorts," Alfred explained. "It's mostly ignored because they pay a large amount in bribes and never take in girls younger than 16."

Ron was as still as a statue for a moment, before he closed his eyes and silently took and released a deep breath. "I don't suppose you have any spare Molotov Cocktails lying around? Because apparently I'm going to be committing arson."

"Might I suggest securing her release first?" Alfred suggested. "I doubt very much she'd appreciate dying in a fire like her cousin while you try and rescue her."

Ron sighed and nodded. "Good point. I'll retrieve the dial, giving me time to cool down, then I'll rescue the girl, and after she's safe, I'll see to torching the place."

Alfred opened his mouth, closed it and considered what to say. "That would seem to be a more workable plan, sir. I suggest we eat lunch first however. I'll call you a cab after we've eaten."

"Thanks Alfred, I appreciate it," Ron said gratefully.

"Happy to help, sir," Alfred said, knowing Master Bruce had been monitoring them and wondering what his response would be.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Help or hinder?" Nightwing asked over his comlink, as he watched the video footage of the kitchen.

"Provide assistance, but don't let him burn the place down," Batman ordered.

"So… a reasonable amount of arson?" he asked.

"Enough to make a point. Use your best judgement," Batman agreed. "Batman out!"

"You get all the fun jobs," Robin complained, as he watched the bank of monitors over Nightwing's shoulder.

 **Typed By – Sitheus Maximus / Ipsith**


	3. Chapter 3

Ron eyed Lady Tristran's. It was designed based on a Civil War era plantation house, the kind you'd see in old movies about whorehouses in the south. A party was going on, he could hear the music, see the lights and the line of limos' parked around the place took up most of the surrounding area.

Ron adjusted his mask and set down the box he was carrying, causing the bottles inside to clink together. Whistling cheerfully to himself, he opened the box and took out a bottle with a rag sticking out of the top. He turned the bottle over and held the rag in place with his thumb as he shook it, to make sure the rag had enough gasoline to catch fire when he lit it. A quick flick of a Bic and it flared up beautifully, but as he drew back his arm to throw it, a whip wrapped around the neck of the bottle and tore it out of his hands.

"Oops," Catwoman said, sounding not sorry at all, as the bottle of gasoline went through the open sunroof of a nearby limo and set the interior ablaze.

"Can I help you?" Ron asked casually, as Catwoman just stood there, making no move to do anything more, while the limo driver and a guard panicked and tried to extinguish the blaze.

"No, I'm good," she assured him. "Go ahead with your business."

"Alright," Ron said, pulling out another Molotov Cocktail and lighting it up, but once more the bottle was ripped from his hand and ended up in yet another limo. Ron sighed. "Is there something you'd like to discuss with me?" he asked as he lit another bottle and a third limo caught fire a moment later.

"Well I am a bit concerned about my old alma mater," Catwoman admitted.

"You object to me burning the place down?" Ron guessed.

"It would leave quite a few young ladies not only out of work, but homeless as well," Catwoman pointed out.

Ron thought about that as he absently lit another Molotov and another limo burned a few seconds later. "I have moral objections to young women being forced into prostitution," he told her.

"I completely understand and agree with that," Catwoman said, the pair ignoring the panic and chaos caused by the flaming vehicles. "However, none of the girls here were forced into it. All of the girls here receive everything they need to succeed in life, including education and training so they can leave if they choose to."

"And the age of the girls?" Ron asked, ignoring the sound of firetrucks.

"Sixteen to seventeen-year-old girls are allowed to mingle and learn how to act, but actual 'under-cover' work is not allowed until they are eighteen," Catwoman said.

"There is a girl in there who entered the house at fourteen and has been there a year," Ron told her, as he picked up the box and headed for the back of the building.

"Occasionally a younger girl may be allowed entrance," Catwoman admitted. "All the cases I know of involved girls who attracted the attention of a pimp or a dealer and this was the only safe place for them."

"Hiding from a pimp in a whorehouse?" Ron asked doubtfully, before awkwardly climbing a brick wall while carrying his box.

Catwoman walked up the wall like it was a set of stairs, barely breaking her stride. "There is a big difference between turning tricks for a pimp and working in a whorehouse, which I'm not surprised you know nothing about."

"So enlighten me," Ron said, hopping down from the wall and setting his box on the grass.

"Pimps will take most of your earnings and care not at all for your health, often addicting you to something to make sure you can't escape," she explained. "Houses like this take less than half of your earnings, screen clientele, and ensure you stay healthy and have options."

"Still turning tricks," Ron said slowly, knowing he really couldn't argue with her.

Catwoman laughed. "Men," she said with a sigh, "always making more out of sex than it is. Sex isn't dirty or evil, nor is it degrading… unless you're into that."

Ron looked around the large, well-manicured, back lawn as he picked up one of his two remaining Molotov's. "Well… I'm setting fire to the Gazebo and rescuing the fifteen-year-old girl anyway."

"Acceptable," Catwoman said.

Ron threw his Molotov cocktail and scored a direct hit, showering the gazebo in burning gasoline, but the sound of breaking glass caused him to glance back and see the hedge maze was burning as well.

Catwoman just raised an eyebrow at his look. "What? Do you know how many times I had to trim that as punishment? Now go 'save' the girl."

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Gwen took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself. Tonight she turned '18' and would service her first customer, a rather well built young man from a rich family, who the other girls said was decently skilled and a big tipper and had paid a substantial fee to be her first.

She was not quite sure how she felt about it. On the one hand she'd been trained and prepared for this, but on the other it also felt like she was taking a big step, one she wasn't sure she was quite ready for. It wasn't the sex so much as the situation, she was taking the final step into a lifestyle where she would be counted as an adult and expected to act as one.

She didn't feel anywhere near ready, even with all her training. It beat being on the streets hands down, but she just wished… Gwen snickered. Here she was dressed in an authentic 'I Dream of Jeanie' outfit and she was making wishes.

"I just wish I had more options," she admitted aloud.

 ***CRASH!***

The door was slammed open and a young man dressed as the Dread Pirate Roberts burst in. "Gwen Tennyson? I'm here to rescue you," he announced before sweeping her up in his arms.

"My Hero!" she gushed, as he carried her off, guessing this was the man who had paid for her, as it would explain the outfit he'd requested she wear. He wasn't as well built as she'd expected, being a bit pudgy around the middle, but he was attractive enough that some of her fear began to fade away. Feeling his strong arms around her as he carried her off, she decided that she might actually enjoy a little role play.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Ron's escape was actually pretty anti-climactic, as everyone faded out of the path of the man with the glowing blue aura, so he made it easily downstairs whereupon he ducked into the first closet he ran across.

It was nearly a quarter of an hour before someone got up the courage to open the closet, only to find it empty.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"You're a Meta?" Gwen asked, looking around wide-eyed.

"Mystically empowered," Ron corrected her as he set her on the sofa, pleased that Shadowcrest hadn't screwed with him for once and had opened into the entryway so he didn't have to wander through half the building.

"You aren't… my client, are you?" Gwen asked, cautiously.

"No, and at fifteen you shouldn't be having any clients," Ron replied.

"I turn sixteen at midnight!" Gwen defended herself.

"Oh, well, Happy Birthday," Ron said, "but my point still stands, you shouldn't have clients."

"I'd rather be an escort than live on the streets," Gwen replied. "And I couldn't stay after... the fire."

"I understand," Ron told her. "I just found out about what happened to you a few hours ago, or I would have been there sooner, a lot sooner."

"Who are you and why did you… rescue me?" she asked cautiously.

Ron began to pace, pausing when he saw a small box with his name on it on a side table and opened it up, examining the broken Omnitrix inside.

"My name is Ron stoppable," he told her, closing the box and handing it to her. "I'm here to offer you an option other than selling your body."

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"There…. There has to be some mistake," Kim said as the scrying pool became cloudy, the image of a blue skinned Ron laughing triumphantly as the world's government's surrendered to him fading away.

"No… that was Ron and that happened," Zatanna said slowly. "I wouldn't read too much into it just yet however, we have very little context for what we saw. Interpreting what you scry correctly is often difficult."

"His skin was blue, he enslaved Shego and he took over the world," Kim pointed out. "Not exactly hard to figure out."

"Just because he is tapping into a mystical power that gives him a blue aura doesn't mean his skin is going to turn blue and he's going to enslave Shego here," Zatanna said, guessing what Kim was worried about.

Kim took a deep breath and slowly let it out before speaking, "You're the expert, but at the first hint of…"

"Blue skin and an enslaved Shego?" Zatanna joked.

Kim laughed. "I guess I am being a little paranoid, but even if we aren't all that close anymore, he was my best friend for most of my life and I owe him."

Zatanna smiled. "I understand…" the magician paled as her voice trailed off.

"What?" Kim asked.

"Ron just entered with a very powerful female," Zatanna said.

"Can you handle Shego while I take out Ron?" Kim asked as she put on her cowl and adjusted her outfit.

"Shouldn't I handle Ron while you handle Shego?" Zatanna asked.

"He's already shown he can break your bindings and as I said, he's my friend and I owe him. I'll take him down and get him unpossessed or whatever, just like he'd do for me," Batgirl said resolutely.

"Alright, I'll do my best to bind Shego, while you take on Ron, but if they turn out to be too strong for us, I'll have to use the wards to eject them," Zatanna warned.

"What does that do?" Batgirl asked.

"Pushes them outside the ward boundaries," Zatanna replied. "Doesn't even bruise unless they fall on their tucas."

"Alright let's do this," Batgirl said.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Options?" Gwen questioned. "I'm an orphan who owes a decent chunk of cash to a Gotham City house for high class escorts. My options aren't exactly stellar. Even if I change my name I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and… I don't feel right about stiffing Lady Tristran's."

"Really?" Ron asked before quickly correcting himself. "I'm not trying to insinuate anything, I just learned I was out of my depth with the whole situation in ways my raised-by-the-TV, middle class suburban life didn't prepare me for."

Gwen giggled, much to her own surprise, but recovered and got serious once more. "The place where me and Ben ended up wasn't the greatest, there were all sorts of medical test so at least they wanted us healthy, and there were rumors about kids getting adopted who just dropped off the map, stopped calling and writing and everyone knew there were a couple of people who worked there who were a little too hands on in both senses of the word. Fortunately, one of the older girls took me under her wing, so nothing bad happened to us and we knew what to avoid. After the fire… I couldn't bear to stay. The streets were cold, dirty, unforgiving. Gotham has some decent homeless shelters, but they look a little too close at you, so I had to go to the less well funded ones where they were overworked and I would be overlooked."

"It'd help keep you from getting returned to the orphanage," Ron agreed, letting her know he was listening as she paused to think about what she needed to say.

"There are predators that prey on people out on the streets, making themselves look like nice people. A little food, some clothes, maybe a little something to help cheer you up," she explained, he eyes focused on the past. "Everything they do is obvious, but it's hard to see it when you're cold, hungry, and tired of being on guard all the time. One of the girls at Lady Tristran's recognized me and the couple who were trying to sweet talk me into trying something new to take the edge off of the sharp corners."

"A couple?" Ron asked, surprised.

Gwen snorted. "Only in after school specials is it a gaudily dressed pimp preying on young girls. No, in real life it's a lot easier for a woman to make a kid feel safe and assure them everything will be fine. Anyway, long story short, next thing I know, the girl who had taken me under her wing at… that place, was escorting me into Lady Tristran's and giving me options I didn't know were available to me. Instead of a strung out whore, dead in the gutter before I reached thirty, I could be a high priced escort and retire completely at thirty. It wasn't a hard choice to make and they bent the rules so I could stay, despite my age."

"Okay, I did not expect that, but considering that was Gotham, I guess I should have," Ron admitted.

"How did you think I ended up there?" Gwen asked curiously.

"I thought they just lined all the girls up, grabbed the two or three most attractive and drug them off to Lady Tristran's," Ron admitted. "In my defense… middle class suburbanite here."

Gwen turned away so he wouldn't see her blush. "I spent a year getting trained and taking classes. I have my G.E.D., can blend in anywhere, had a mole removed, took self-defense classes… I'm in the house for a four-year contract or just under thirty-four thousand dollars, but it's worth it. I owe them more than just money."

"So I can buy out your contract for thirty-five grand?" Ron asked.

"I – Yes," Gwen agreed, surprised, but recalling being told about rich patrons buying out a girl's contract and what it could lead to and while her 'hero' didn't look rich, appearances could be deceiving.

"What would you say to me buying out your contract and you spending the next four years in Greendale Community College?" he asked.

Gwen straightened up, crossed her arms and assumed a pose anyone who'd ever seen 'I Dream of Jeanie' would recognize instantly and said with a grin, "I'd say… What is thy bidding, my master?"

 **Typed By: – Sitheus Maximus**


	4. Chapter 4

"Just to check," Zatanna said, calmly, as she entered the living room with Batgirl, "you aren't planning on enslaving her and taking over the world are you? Or was the whole 'What do you wish, Master?' a sign we're too late?"

"Pretty sure Gwen was just joking and I'm far too lazy to take over my apartment building, much less the world," Ron replied.

"Seventy-thirty," Gwen replied at Zatanna's questioning glance. "I can think of a number of orders I wouldn't mind following from him."

"What are you?" Zatanna asked curiously. "I mean you feel powerful, but nowhere near as powerful as a Djinn."

"Powerful?" Gwen asked. "I'm just an escort."

"An escort?" Zatanna replied in disbelief.

"Gwen you are no longer an escort and you have never been 'just' anything. You are a Tennyson, descended from a long line of heroes," Ron assured her. "None of them had powers though."

"We'll return to that in a minute," Zatanna said. "Roberts, what can you tell me about Zorpac?"

"How do you even know about that?" Ron asked. "I mean that didn't even happen in this timeline!"

"I scryed the other timeline," Zatanna replied. "Answer the question, please."

"Sure." Ron shrugged. "Dr. Drakken invented a device and somehow it transferred all his evil blueness into me."

"Whereupon you then enslaved Shego and took over the world," Zatanna said. "How were you so… effective compared to him?"

"Ah, that's easy to explain," Ron replied. "Even though I normally don't apply it to schoolwork, I have a pretty high IQ, so adding Dr. Drakken's to my own put me above his level. Plus he's a pretty nice guy under all his evil impulses and he's used to resisting them. I on the other hand am just an average guy who has no experience with any of that, so I ended up a lot more intelligent, ruthless, and... let's call it 'goal oriented."

"You took over the world?" Gwen asked Ron in disbelief.

"One time, while possessed by... evil Smurfiness and in a completely different timeline," Ron assured Gwen. "Besides, I gave it back once I was returned to normal."

"How are you so much better a villain than a hero?" Zatanna demanded before wincing. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did," Ron replied, "but it's okay, I completely agree with you. I make a world conquering villain when evil, while only rating a sidekick while good." He shook his head and chuckled. "The problem is you're looking at it all wrong. I was never some great hero… because I never needed to be one."

"I'm confused," Gwen admitted.

Ron took off his mask and ran his fingers through his hair. "Ron Stoppable was the partner of Kim Possible, which is like being a life guard with Aquaman for a kiddy pool. I never felt the need to outshine Kim, I simply did what was needed to make sure she succeeded."

Zatanna noticed Batgirl had frozen in place, giving nothing away about her thoughts or feelings on what was being discussed. "But wouldn't Kim's job have been easier if you carried more of the load?"

Ron laughed. "I wasn't trying to compete, but Kim sure was," Ron said with a grin before sighing slightly. "Mostly she competed with Shego, but she really didn't take well to anyone out doing her. Let me give you an example. There was a deranged fishman named Gil who took all of the cheerleaders from our school hostage. I defeated him and freed the cheerleaders, but when the reporters arrived they assumed Kim had rescued everyone."

"And she didn't correct them?" Gwen guessed.

"Not even about getting my name wrong," Ron said. "Kim does not like to take second place."

"Sounds like a horrible friend," Gwen said, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Everyone has their quirks and compulsions," Ron replied easily. "Being a friend is about understanding and accepting them and she rarely kicked up a fuss about mine, of which there were many."

"So, no hard feelings about it?" Zatanna asked, knowing that Batgirl wasn't about to.

"Only one thing about the whole things annoys me," Ron said with a sigh. "One of the cheerleaders had a huge crush on me and she was as nice as she was beautiful, and Kim never said a word to either of us."

"Good friend, but lousy wingman?" Zatanna offered.

"Exactly," Ron agreed. "Now I wasn't in any way a perfect wingman myself, but in my defense her taste in Boys was horrible. Half the time it was shallow pretty boys and the other half it was villains in disguise. Any way to avoid friction I did just as much as was needed to make sure she won and I'm sure she put up with equal amounts of crap from my own quirks."

"You do have quite a few quirks," Zatanna admitted with a grin.

"Exactly," Ron agreed cheerfully. "Now does that answer your questions about me taking over the world?"

"Yes it does," Zatanna agreed, flashing a smug grin at Batgirl before turning to Gwen. "I sense a lot of magical power in you."

"News to me," Gwen replied, trying to keep calm despite the fact that one of the Bat Clan was here, she was talking to one of the Justice League and her rescuer turned out to be... Ron Stoppable! Learning she might have powers on top of everything else was just icing on the cake. She was tempted to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming.

"We can see about getting you some training later," Ron said, stifling a yawn. "For the moment it's getting late and we have a lot to do tomorrow."

"We do?" Gwen asked.

"We do." Ron assured her. "We have to buy out your contract, pick up your things, and register you for school."

"College," Gwen said, softly pinching herself to make sure she was awake. "What courses am I going to take?"

"Whichever ones interest you," Ron replied. "Greendale is the strangest college you are ever going to find, but it's a lot of fun."

"You're calling it strange?!" Zatanna burst out.

"Just because my motto is 'Never be normal' doesn't mean I can't recognize strange," Ron replied with a laugh. "It just means I can appreciate it better than most."

"Fair enough," she agreed. "One last question than."

"Okay, shoot," Ron said.

"Where is Rufus?" Zatanna asked.

"He's on a quest to sail around the world," Ron replied. "One of our classmates was rich and old and ... let's just say the will was in proud Greendale tradition."

"I'll get the story from you later," Zatanna said. "Night Ron, Gwen."

"Night," Gwen said.

"Night Guys," Ron said cheerfully, taking one of Gwen's hands and pulling out his keys. Using a nearby shadow as a door, he and Gwen left.

Zatanna turned to Batgirl. "I will hold off gloating about being right, to ask 'why did you cock block him in high school?"

Kim Possible pulled off her cowl and explained, "I didn't really cock block him. Tara's best friend was Bonnie, who was a major bitch to him every chance she got. So, if I had fixed up the two it wouldn't have lasted long anyway, so I just kept my nose out of it."

"And taking credit?" Zatanna asked.

"I couldn't bring myself to admit I spent the fight glued to the school bus by a giant loogie," Kim admitted. "Mostly I just kept quiet and escaped as soon as possible to take the hottest shower I could stand."

"So he was wrong about you always needing to be the best?" Zatanna asked.

Kim sighed. "No, he was right on target here. Batman has almost knocked it out of my head now, but back then I had a bit of an ego."

Zatanna started laughing. "Bit of an ego?" A cushion hit her in the face and she grabbed it. "A Bat Pillow?" she asked in disbelief as she noticed the logo, before comparing it to the ones on her sofa. "Hey!"

"I know we have the legend of having nearly everything on our utility belts, so I got a bunch of Bat stickers to plaster on anything I want to use and make it even worse," Kim explained with a grin.

"SWOLLIP YLPITLUM DNA KCSTTA LRIGTAB!" Zatanna intoned with an evil grin.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Cozy," Gwen said looking around Ron's apartment.

"It was just me and Rufus before he left for his cruise," Ron explained.

Gwen glanced around. "So Rufus was your... partner?"

"Been with me since I was a kid," Ron replied, before he realized what she was thinking. "He was my partner in side-kicking for Kim. Rufus is a hyper intelligent naked mole rat."

"Oh," Gwen said smiling broadly. "I'd forgotten about him."

"Yes, the Ron-Man likes the ladies," he said in an over the top manner to make her laugh.

"With a preference for red heads?" Gwen teased.

"Who doesn't- I mean not particularly," he corrected himself blushing.

Gwen just grinned. "So what's the sleeping situation?"

"I have a fold out couch that is actually comfortable," Ron said. "I stole the blueprints from Drakken and built it with a couple of friends, so you may either steal my bed or the couch, but both are pretty damn comfortable."

"Which do you want?" she asked.

"As a creature of habit, I'd prefer my bed, but as my guest you get first pick," Ron admitted.

"I don't have a problem with you sleeping in your bed," Gwen replied absently, the number of surprises she'd gone through making her feel a bit numb now that it was all over.

"Cool," Ron said cheerfully. "Feel free to poke around and make yourself at home. I'm going to wash up and get ready for bed."

Gwen nodded absently as she looked around, getting a feel for Ron from what his apartment looked like.

She noticed he had a Christmas tree up even though it was March, though the tree was obviously fake as it was still green, had lights twinkling on it, and a good sized pile of presents sitting under it. A closer look showed the presents were for Rufus or Troy, whoever that was.

There was a good sized flat screen with one of the latest gaming systems attached to it. His movie and game collection were rather impressive as well. There were burn marks here and there around the place, showing a heavy smoker had lived there once, but it was long enough ago that there was not even a hint of tobacco smell in the place.

Moving to the kitchenette, she stopped and stared. While the rest of the apartment looked like your average college student's, the kitchen area was absolutely spotless and while she wasn't even remotely a chef, she could recognize high quality, high priced cooking equipment when she saw it.

She smiled. She's been a big Kim Possible fan when she'd been active, imagining herself as the red haired teen heroine, even going so far as to make Ben play Ron, the unlucky but loyal sidekick who often ended up in nothing more than his boxers.

She blushed, thinking of the stories she'd written when she'd hit puberty. While entertaining, they certainly hadn't been realistic or even anatomically possible in parts. She'd also accidentally typed in Gwen rather than Kim half the time.

It had been embarrassing when Ben had found them, and even more embarrassing when he'd done a complete find and replace, switching his name out for Ron's because he was 'far more cool' before reading them. He had turned as red as her hair and had avoided her for a week. She still found that funny, even after all that had happened.

Pushing away thoughts of her deceased cousin, she focused on the present. She took off the I dream of Jeanie outfit she was wearing and picked up a flannel shirt off the back of the couch that looked long enough to serve as a nightshirt. Putting it on, it barely reached mid-thigh, but as long as she didn't raise her arms in mixed company it would be fine.

"Bathroom's open..." Ron offered, trailing off as he saw how she was dressed and had to force his eyes upwards. "I'll pull the couch out while you get ready for bed," he said recovering.

"Alright," Gwen replied, giggling at the effect she had on him.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Did the conditioning hold?" Dr Moon asked, already sure of the answer.

"Perfectly," Glaze replied. "Despite his reluctance to kill he really is a good agent, I'd have hated to lose him because of an excess of morals."

"Well his files state that he excels in sabotage, not assassination, so I'd advise keeping him in that role," Dr Moon suggested, making a note on his data pad as they looked over the small city that was being built on the rocky ground surrounded by near impenetrable jungle.

"Not confident of your work Doctor?" Glaze asked, surprised.

"My work is fine," Dr Moon replied, "but you don't use a hammer to drive in screws, not do you use a screwdriver to chip ice. Every tool has its uses and every tool can be damaged by misuse."

"Fair enough," Glaze agreed. "Your work was subtle enough this time that he didn't even realize he went through the conditioning process and his behavior remains almost completely unchanged."

"He's still requesting a change to his code name despite the fact that it's considered a great honor to have Ra's al Ghul name you himself?" Dr Moon asked, amused.

"Just as we did," Glaze replied, amused as well.

"Randomly chosen code names are like that," Dr Moon agreed with a grin. "Earning a better name is a rite of passage."

"I think I'll let that bit slip before he buries me in requests," Glaze replied. "Good day, Moon Over Miami."

"And to you Glazed Ham," he replied with a grin as Glaze departed to find his subordinate, Bentan, the Japanese Goddess of Luck.

 **Typed by : - Sitheus Maximus**


	5. Chapter 5

Gwen woke to the sound of someone knocking on the door. Half-awake she threw off the covers and answered the door. "Yeah?" she asked as she opened the door and found two people she didn't know standing there.

"I'm Annie, Annie Edison," the young woman introduced herself, "I'm here to drop off Ron's homework assignments."

"And I'm Abed," the young Indonesian man introduced himself, "I'm here to question Ron about the nature of reality, which has just gotten a whole lot more interesting now that you're here."

Annie looked shocked and horrified. "He didn't mean that!"

"Yes I did," Abed disagreed. "Her existence alone suggests a multitude of possibilities."

"You can't just hit on her like that!" Annie complained. "Hitting on a friend's girlfriend is in really bad taste."

Abed tilted his head and looked at Annie curiously. "Do you really believe I am... smooth enough to use lines like that?"

Annie paused and frowned. "No, I really can't say I do, even if it looked like you were doing so."

"Thank you and ouch," Abed said without changing expression.

"You could have been using lines from a movie you saw," Annie offered, "I could see you doing that."

"I'm only interested in people who share my love of film, so they'd recognize them right away," Abed replied.

"It's also a good way to find fellow film buffs then," Annie pointed out.

"I hadn't thought of that," Abed admitted. "I'll be sure to try it out in the future, however back to what I said before. This is Gwen Tennyson, she's... how much am I allowed to say?" he asked Gwen.

Gwen looked both amused and confused by the pair's conversation. "About me?"

Abed nodded. "Secret organizations and abilities aren't things to be casually tossed around."

"I don't have a secret identity and as far as I know I'm not part of a secret organization," she replied, wondering where he was getting all this from.

"Does that mean we are going with denial of their very existence or I'm supposed to share now? I seriously can't tell," Abed said.

"If you know something I don't I'd really like to hear it," Gwen said.

"Fine, but not in the hall," Abed said, prompting Gwen to let them in.

"I'll go wake Ron," she told them as Annie closed the door. "Be right back."

"Alright," Abed said as he tilted his head and examined the room.

"I can't believe Ron started dating someone and never mentioned her to us," Annie said with a frown.

"He didn't," Abed said. "I really should have a pipe for this."

"It was just a one-night stand?" Annie asked scandalized. "I didn't think Ron was like that and why would you need a pipe?"

"Because Watson, you have overlooked some elementary facts," Abed said, holding his hands up to mime lighting a pipe and taking a puff.

Annie's eyes lit up as she realized what he was doing and putting on a poor attempt at imitating a male voice with a British accent asked, "By Jove, Sherlock, what could I possibly have missed?"

"The couch is folded out and appears to have been slept on," Abed said before puffing on his imaginary pipe.

"I can't believe I missed that," Annie said before she started straightening up and folding the couch back into a couch.

Abed dropped his Sherlock impersonation. "We'll have to work on this bit later, but that was a good first attempt."

"Thanks," Annie said giving him a bright smile.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Kim?" Ron asked bluntly as he was shaken awake.

"Wrong redhead," Gwen said, leaning down to give him a good look at her cleavage, having unbuttoned several buttons on her shirt, "not that I'm against a little roleplay mind you."

"Gwen?" Ron asked blinking sleep from his eyes and quickly pulling a pillow over the blankets covering his waist. "Did you want something?"

She smirked as her eyes darted down to the pillow for a second. "Abed and Annie are here."

"Oh," he said relaxing and giving out a yawn as he stretched. "Tell them I'll be out in a minute please."

"Will do," Gwen said, putting a little extra sway in her hips and resisting the urge to glance back and see what effect it had on him.

Abed perked up as she came out of Ron's room.

"He'll be right out," Gwen told them.

"Is this the part where we awkwardly avoid saying things while waiting for Ron to come out?" Abed asked. "Because if it is, can I suggest we play something instead? I'm just asking because holidays with my family provide all the awkward, stilted conversations I need for writing scenes about it."

"What kind of game did you have in mind?" Gwen asked before Annie could say anything.

"I picked up a new board game, well new to me, it was in a thrift shop," Abed explained. "It's called Jumanji. Want to play?

"Sounds fun," Gwen said.

"Great, I'll get it," Abed said, hopping to his feet.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Ron splashed cold water on his face and fumbled for his tooth brush. He was not a morning person. He was up and dressed, though only half awake, as he stepped into the living room and saw something that caused him to freeze in place.

Annie rolled the dice. "A seven," she announced and reached for her peace, only to have the obsidian crocodile snap at her fingers and move forward on its own, walking across the old wooden game board.

"I'm the monkey," Ron said with a sigh as he joined the three, the small monkey carved out of granite stood and stretched before climbing out of the storage space for the pieces and moved to the starting point.

"Should we be worried?" Annie asked nervously.

"Yes," Ron and Abed chorused.

"I thought this was just a game based on the movie, not the board the movie was based on," Abed apologized.

"It happens," Ron replied. "Gwen, get dressed, this is going to get dangerous and messy."

The half sphere set in the center of the board began to glow green, letters floating up out of the depth of the crystal.

"In the depths of the jungle a fortune rests, but what if it is just a test?" Annie read aloud as the sound of jungle drums filled the room and the shadows darkened.

"Not sure this is that big an improvement," Gwen said, dressed in her Genie outfit once more.

"What's going on?" Annie asked. "I need details, so I know what to panic about."

"Cursed board game, we win everything goes back to normal, if anyone cheats they turn into a monkey," Abed quickly explained.

"Does anyone hear the sound of rushing water?" Gwen asked.

"Grab the table and the game, don't let go," Ron ordered just before the door to the closet burst open swamping the group ankle deep in gold and jewels.

"Now what?" Annie asked, as they all stared around in shock.

"Each turn sets off a magical effect, usually dangerous," Abed noted. "This seems... either off base or more balanced."

"We're safe for the moment," Ron said. "Until the next person goes we have time to get ready."

"Why don't we stop while we're ahead?" Gwen asked, picking up a handful of gold coins and examining them.

"We could," Abed admitted, "no one is stuck in the jungle."

"The game doesn't end until someone wins," Ron said with a frown.

"And time rewinds," Abed agreed. "So, if we wait until we're sixty we could get a complete redo of our lives by playing the game, provided we survive to sixty, and then someone lives long enough to win of course."

"So... we're rich?" Annie asked.

"If this is all real," Gwen agreed searching for some emerald earrings to go with the necklace and tiara she'd found.

"I guess so," Ron said.

Relieved the girls broke out in smiles.

"Unless this is the test," Abed said suddenly.

"It probably is," Ron admitted with a sigh. "Not sure what the test is. Greed? Is it seeing if we turn on each other?"

"No, not a one of us has that kind of flaw," Abed said shaking his head.

"How do you know I don't have that kind of flaw?!" Gwen demanded. "With all I've seen and what I've been through a little greed seems like a good idea!"

Abed nodded agreeably while Ron put a hand on her shoulder. "A little greed is a good idea, but regardless of what you've been through you will never value money over the life and happiness of others."

"I... no, I wouldn't," Gwen agreed. "I still want to know how you know me though."

"Did I miss something?" Ron asked.

"Abed says he knew Gwen and is being all mysterious about it," Annie replied.

"I'm not trying to be mysterious, I just don't want to give away any secrets of her's that aren't mine to share," Abed explained.

"Abed is a mystic," Ron explained, "he saw your life in detail the same way I did or at least the life you should have had."

"I... we are going to have to have a long talk about that," Gwen said.

"It's a bit complicated and hard to explain," Ron said. "I mean I know the broad strokes to a degree, but the details have probably shifted and I have no way to tell how."

"Broad strokes are; your family has protected the Earth from invaders from other planets and dimensions for generations. Ben was to accidentally receive a powerful tool that would allow the wearer to take on various alien forms. It was meant to go to your grandfather Max, but Ben picked it up and it bound itself to him instead. While it would function best as a tool to allow understanding between vastly different species it also function as a decent tool for kicking their ass instead."

"Ben tended to jump head first into everything," Ron added.

"You had to deflate his ego on a daily basis," Abed continued. "He would have died early on without you to lean on for stability and emotional support."

"Plus the odd moment of ass kicking yourself," Ron added.

"Later you find out that your absent grandmother is actually an alien being of immense power and little self-control who Grandpa Max hooked up with," Abed said.

"Ben seemed to inherit the lack of control," Ron noted.

"While you inherited her powers," Abed explained.

"What?" Gwen asked stunned.

"That's what Zatanna was sensing," Ron realized.

"You wore a cat themed outfit and called yourself Lucky Girl," Abed explained. "Those abilities relied on you using magical luck granting artifacts which were eventually destroyed."

"I'm all about getting lucky," Gwen said with a smirk. "Where do I find these artifacts?"

"Good luck for you was balanced with bad luck for who you were closest to," Abed explained. "Besides they were holding you back. The full range of your powers is similar to Martian Manhunter wielding a power ring."

"What?" she asked, forcing herself to pretend to be calm and not squeal for joy. Powers like that meant she would never have to rely on anyone ever again! She'd be safe!

"Your grandmother is an energy being called an Anodite, who manipulate energy as part of their nature, it synchronizes with you being human to allow you to be a very high-level magic user," Abed explained. "Add in your obvious talent in martial arts and tech skills and you are one hell of a hero with an obnoxiously long list of powers and skills."

"Abed!" Annie exclaimed.

"What?" he asked cluelessly. "She was an overpowered Mary-Sue with almost no flaws."

Gwen laughed and kicked her feet spreading gold and jewels around as she fell back against the sofa.

Ron grinned. "I would kill to be an overpowered Gary-Stu."

"I think you were more comedy relief sidekick," Abed answered.

Ron nodded. "I know, I did have some moments when I was called up to play hero, but comedy relief sidekick is just so much fun!"

The sound of drums crept up on the group causing them all to turn to the board. The crystal dome began to shine with a bright green light.

"The clock ticks down on your next round, the monster you must now sate... is DR. FATE?!" Annie read aloud.

The door to the apartment tore open revealing a figure wearing a golden cap and helm over a blue body suit.

Ron's smile at seeing a familiar hero began to fade however as he noticed the red light leaking from the helm's eye holes and the flicker of green flames running up his arms.

"Aw crap!" Ron cursed.

 **Typing by: Lohoydo**

 **TN: I almost made Annie imitate "a mole voice" and named Gwen "Lady Maid" instead of "Lucky Girl". Had to look at a few wikis to fix that one.**

 **AN: I am continually amazed anyone can read my handwriting.**


	6. Chapter 6

"This is bad," Abed noted calmly.

"Heads up!" Ron yelled, flinging a handful of gold coins at Dr. Fate's head while diving to the side, snatching up a jewel encrusted mace while flipping back to his feet.

Dr. Fate's head snapped back, his helm ringing, but he still managed to gesture with his left hand, causing a number of heavy gold necklaces to weave themselves into a rope that bound the shocked Annie in place.

Gwen took cover behind the couch. "What do I do?!" she yelled.

"Exactly what you're doing," Ron said, as he leapt forward with the mace held high, forcing Dr. Fate to block him with a golden shield.

"Silver ropes please," Abed calmly requested as Dr. Fate gestured at him with his off hand, binding him in heavy silver jewelry next to Annie.

"Why?" Annie asked, as Abed bumped her so they both fell down.

"We are no longer targets nor distractions," Abed replied, "we are now safe as is possible to be in this situation."

"I think we'd be safer elsewhere," Annie whispered, flinching back from the blinding flash of light Ron caused when he shattered Dr. Fate's mystical shield.

"Pretend you're a caterpillar," Abed told her and started wriggling for the door.

"I'm going to get stepped on," Annie worried as she copied his motions and the two made an impressive crawl for freedom unnoticed by everyone else.

Dr. Fate recreated his shield, his motions hesitant as he seemed to fight against himself before the flames flared and he threw a bright yellow blast of pure power that Ron barely dodged, melting the door to the bathroom.

 ***CLANG***

Dr. Fate stumbled back as a heavy gold plate impacted the side of his helm, thrown by Gwen who ducked behind the sofa once more.

Ron kicked a golden goblet towards Dr. Fate's groin with his foot while cartwheeling out of the way of another blast of golden power that sent gold coins flying everywhere.

"Would yelling 'fight it' help?" Ron asked as he found a polished silver shield that apparently did nothing as Dr. Fate blasted him into the wall.

 **In the hall**

"What is going on?!" the building superintendent demanded.

Abed and Annie looked up from the hallway carpet, relieved to see a possible source of salvation.

"Funny," said the four-year-old girl as her mother set her down between the two tied up students.

"Cursed board game is controlling Dr. Fate, Ron's fighting him," Abed reported before the little girl grabbed his nose.

"Honey, you wait right here with Annie and Abed," the woman ordered. "Mommy has to go and kick… some hiney."

"Yes, Mommy," the little girl agreed as she pulled on Abed's cheeks.

 **In the apartment**

Ron pushed forward against a continual beam of force that sought to pin him in place while Dr. Fate split his attention trying to capture Gwen who was dodging and throwing whatever came to hand at him.

"This would be the perfect time for those powers I'm supposed to have to manifest!" Gwen yelped as she kicked a summoned snake back at Dr. Fate.

"Takes… training," Ron grunted out in a guttural tone, his clothes slowly beginning to come apart as his muscles swelled and he fought against the beam.

A blast of green fire impacted the coffee table, making the game board scream and driving Dr. Fate to his knees as he clutched at his helm. No longer being held back, Ron launched himself across the room, slamming into the wall and destroying his clothes. He stumbled back in only his boxers with a heavy silver shield twisted around his arm.

Dr. Fate rose to his feet, the glow of power almost blinding as he turned and cast multiple bindings on the game board, chains of golden power wrapping the coffee table like a cocoon until it finally vanished in a burst of light, the treasure and damage to the apartment vanishing with it.

"A little early for partying, even on a Saturday," the superintendent said as she let the green flames on her hands die out.

"Morning Shelia," Ron said, "It was a cursed board game."

"And despite it fixing everything, you still end up in your boxers," she said with a chuckle.

"Story of my life," Ron said. "Excuse me while I get dressed."

"He was not this muscular five minutes ago," Gwen said, eyes glued to his backside.

"A side effect of the power he was channeling," Dr. Fate noted. He turned to Shelia. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"Everyone has to be somewhere and Ron convinced me and my hubby to give this place a try," the green skinned former villain replied.

"And you guys fit right in," Ron said cheerfully, returning wearing a pair of blue jeans and buttoning up a flannel shirt.

"The crazy things the students get up to keep me endlessly entertained," Shelia agreed.

"Giddyup!" came the voice of a young girl as Annie and Abed returned, wiggling their way in the door with the young girl riding Abed like a horsy.

"Looks like you two have next year's tuition covered," Shelia said as she retrieved her daughter.

"Green!" the little girl cheered, her skin changing color to match her mother, green flame dancing from her hands.

"No flames indoors, sweetie," she said, tickling her daughter and distracting her from throwing plasma around.

"Is it gone for good?" Ron asked Dr. Fate as he helped Annie and abed onto the couch and started untying them with Gwen's help.

"I have the spirit contained," Dr. Fate said, "It will trouble no one ever again once I am through with it."

"Won, Won?" the little girl called out eagerly, reaching for him.

"Princess!" Ron said cheerfully, taking her from Shelia.

"I have to go take care of it," Dr. Fate said, "think you for your assistance." A large golden ankh formed and he stepped through it and vanished.

"It's nice to have a villain who cleans up after himself," Ron said. "Even if it did destroy my clothes and coffee table."

"I have about ten pounds in gold chains and assorted jewelry," Annie said, "Not counting what's in my purse."

"In your purse?" Gwen asked.

"Oh yes," Annie said. "I stuffed it full when the treasure appeared."

"I filled my pockets and fanny pack," Abed offered, making a pile of all the treasure he'd saved.

"Shield, mace, and whatever didn't fall out of my pockets," Ron offered, gesturing to the pile of torn clothing.

"Boots and pockets," Shelia offered. "Didn't have a lot of time."

"And I wasn't smart enough to grab anything," Gwen groaned.

"You were busy saving my hide," Ron said, "you get half my haul."

"I'll toss ten percent your way for helping," Abed added.

"Sounds about right," Annie said. "I'll give ten percent of mine to Shelia for her part."

"Do things like this happen often?" Gwen asked.

"Not remotely, but you learn to think on your feet around here," Annie said cheerfully.

"Besides epic paintball games, class elections, and campus wide 'the floor is lava', there are classes for just about any strange idea you can think of," Shelia said.

"School is actually fun here," Ron said with a grin.

"So, what do we do first?" Gwen asked eagerly.

"Bag up your treasure and turn it over to me," Shelia said, "I have contacts that will let me get top dollar for everything."

"Some of it probably has historical value," Abed noted, "Possibly not from this reality, but from actual myths and legends."

"Teach your grandmother to suck eggs," Shelia said with a smirk, "I got it covered."

"Why would anyone's grandmother need to have that skill?" Abed asked. "I have never understood that phrase."

Ignoring the strange discussion that had sprung up, Ron turned to Gwen. "We will run by a bank, hit Gotham for your clothes, and to pay off your contract, and then we'll buy another coffee table."

Gwen bit her lip. "I hope Lady Tristan isn't mad."

"If so, it's on me, not you," Ron assured her. "I'll toss in another fifteen grand for the disruption as an apology."

"Sure you want to pay fifty thousand dollars for me?" Gwen asked nervously.

"You are worth it a dozen times over," Ron assured her. "Wait, that's only six hundred thousand and you are worth a lot more than that."

Gwen just stared speechless for a moment as she realized he really did mean what he said and a smile slowly overtook her face as he grabbed a calculator and started trying to calculate her worth.

Shelia picked up her daughter and gestured for the others to be quiet as they gathered the treasure and tiptoed into the hall.

"He's buying her?" Annie asked Shelia.

"Superhero relationships are strange," she replied with a shrug. "And he's buying out her contract, which is something different."

"Contract?" Annie asked.

"Their business, if you want to know more you'll have to ask them," Shelia said. "Nice to see he's finally moved on from Kim," she muttered as they headed for her apartment.

Annie almost stumbled as she caught Shelia's last comment.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Right this way, sir," the butler said, waving for the pair to proceed him into Lady Tristan's office.

"Miss Tristan," Ron said politely, offering her a briefcase.

"I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage Mr-" she fished as she opened the briefcase. "And a nice sized advantage at that."

"Roberts will do, though that isn't my name," Ron replied. "I am here to pay off my friend's contract and have included a little extra to cover for any disruption this might cause."

"In my line of work few people use their real names," she replied unconcerned before turning to Gwen. "Is this something you're interested in?" Lady Tristan searched her face for any signs of stress that might indicate she wasn't making the choice of her own free will.

Gwen beamed. "He wants me to attend college with him and I've already met some of his classmates."

"Frat house?" she asked cautiously.

"Student dorms," Gwen replied, "Co-ed."

Lady Tristan's smile almost matched Gwen's own. "It's so nice to see one of my girls land on her feet." She turned back to Ron. "Consider the contract paid in full Mr. Roberts."

"Thank you," Ron said, relieved everything had gone well and unsure of what else to say so he simply stayed silent.

"I'll have Sheldon help you pack and you know the girls will want to see you off," Lady Tristan told Gwen.

"Do we have time?" Gwen asked Ron hopefully.

"Of course," he agreed. "All I have scheduled for today is buying a coffee table and doing some research, and we can put that off till tomorrow, spend time with your friends."

Gwen squealed and gave Ron a kiss on the cheek before rushing off, leaving a blushing Dread Pirate Roberts behind.

Lady Tristan smiled. 'Young love,' she thought to herself, it never got old.

 **Later that evening**

"I'm going to miss that place," Gwen said as they departed Lady Tristan's with a steamer trunk and two suitcases.

"I kept feeling like they were sizing me up," Ron said, rubbing his rear which had been pinched a number of times.

"I'm sure it's just your imagination," Gwen lied, grinning at how even Cindy had given her a thumbs up for her choice when Ron had bent over to get something she'd 'accidentally' dropped.

A limo pulled up in front of the two and the driver got out. "Get in," Selina said.

"Pop the trunk," Ron said, not surprised to see her.

"You expected me?" she asked.

"It's kinda obvious, Batman set you on me when he found out why I was in Gotham," Ron replied, "so naturally you'd show up again to make sure I'm not… making a mess in your territory."

"Essentially correct," she decided, popping the trunk for him.

"And you are?" Gwen asked suspiciously, claiming Ron's hand after he'd slammed the trunk.

"Catwoman," Ron replied, opening the door for Gwen.

"Oh," Gwen said, surprised.

"Relax, kitten," Selina said with a confident smirk, "this is business, not pleasure."

Once they were on their way, Gwen asked, "So why are you escorting us?"

"I know Lady Tristan's and the museum Ferret is planning on robbing," Catwoman replied, "naturally I was asked to lend a hand by Nightwing who was too busy to attend to the matter himself."

"And him owing you a favor or two is certainly worth a little effort," Ron said, finding his arm around Gwen who was leaning against his side.

"And more entertaining than what I had going on for the weekend," Selina said. "So… how are you planning on robbing the museum?"

"We're robbing a museum?!" Gwen exclaimed, wide eyed, turning to Ron.

"That seems to be the plan," Selina said, eyes meeting Ron's in the rear-view mirror, "but I haven't caught him casing the joint or even doing any basic research on his target, so I am at a loss on what he has planned."

Ron merely smirked.

"You are not one to second guess," Selina admitted. "Even the Joker has a pattern to his insanity, but with you… I'm supposed to assist you and I have no idea what you plan on doing so I'm simply going to ask."

Ron grinned. "Funny you should say that…"

 **Typing by: Abyssal Angel**

 **TN: I too would like to know where that phrase came from. 'Grandma sucking on eggs'? I almost don't want to know… *shudder***


End file.
